|
|
Tuesday, December 1st, 2009
|
|
Saturday, October 31st, 2009
|
|
|
Holy jebus did I have a great day today.
I wish every day was like this.
<3
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I'm all for Net Neutrality.
read, if you will, the following article:
http://www.spectrum.ieee.org/computing/networks/a-radical-new-router/0
the summary is that an engineer from the IEEE, (they guys who are responsible for the internet as we know it today..) thinks routers need to start getting per subscriber management, so everybody that pays equally for a line, get's equal service when they want it.
with this, I agree.
one of the follow up's was this article:
http://www.kyle-brady.com/2009/07/09/incorrect-base-assumptions-about-network-management/
that's a very: "don't blame P2P for everything!" kind of article to me.
I think the most important line in all of this shit that's completely misstated is:
Often the ISP is at fault for misleading advertising but no ISP allocates much more than the statistical peak usage created by 1000 normal users.
I think this is complete bull shit. there's no "misleading" going on, they flat out lie and say: "you get this speed, up to this bandwidth cap." they mean: "unless there's more than just you wanting to do that stuff we just told you that you can do. Then it's a little slower. We might not even give you all that bandwidth on every port. If we do, we might slow you down from the speed we say you'll get if you use these ports to whatever we think we need to slow it down to. Hell, we might even slow the rest down if you start using those at the speed we say you can use them at too much."
it's all so fucking retarded. I'm sick and tired of it all.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Wow, I randomly just came across this song on Last.fm Wow. it's amazing!
He wants to die in a lake in Geneva, the mountains can cover the shape of his nose.
He wants to die where nobody can see him but the beauty of his death will carry on so
I don't believe him.
He greets me with kisses when good days deceive him and sometimes with scorn and sometimes I believe him.
And sometimes I'm convinced my friends think I am crazy, get scared and call him but he's usually hazy.
By one in the morning day is not ended, by two he is scared and sleep is no friend, and by four he will drink but cannot feel it,
sleep will not come because sleep does not will it
and I don't believe him.
Morning is mocking me.
I'll wander the streets avoiding them eats until the ring on my finger slips to the ground.
A gift to the gutter, a gift to the city the veins of which have broken me down.
And I dont believe him,
morning is mocking me.
Oh the gods that he believes,
never fail to amaze me.
He believes in the love of his god of all things,
but I find him wrapped up in all manner of sins.
The drugs that deceive him and the girls that believe him.
I can't control you I don't know you well,
these are the reasons I think that you're ill.
I can't control you I don't know you well,
these are the reasons I think that you're ill.
And since last that we parted And since last that I saw him
down by a river silent and hardened,
morning was mocking us.
Blood hit the sky.
I was just happy, my manic and I
He couldn't see me the sun was in his eyes and birds were singing to calm us down.
And birds were singing to calm us down.
And I'm sorry young man, I cannot be your friend.
I don't believe in a fairytale end.
I don't keep my head up all of the time.
I find it dull when my heart meets my mind
*Though* I hardly know you I think I can tell, these are the reasons I think that we're ill.
*I hardly know you I think I can tell, these are the reasons I think that I'm ill.
And the gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me.
And the gods that he believes never fail to disappoint me.
My happy man my manic and I have no plans to move on.
The birds are singing to calm us down
And birds are singing to calm us down.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I love these words. they're like magic to me right now.
Last week I had the strangest dream,
Where everything was exactly how it seemed.
Where there never any mystery,
of who shot John F Kennedy.
It was just a man with something to prove
Slightly bored, and severely confused.
He steadied his rifle with his target in the center,
And became famous on that day in November.
*****
And then last night I had that strange dream,
Where everything was exactly how it seemed.
Where concerns about the world getting warmer,
People thought they were just being rewarded.
For treating others as they like to be treated.
For obeying stop signs and curing diseases.
For mailing letters with the address of the sender,
Now we can swim any day in November
Don't wake me I plan on sleeping in.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I just spend the last hour fixing the overhang over our fire escape,
Wow, I must feel a MILLION times better after having been outside. it's so nice that summer's just around the corner.
I might have to setup my tent in the front yard in the next two weeks for a night.
anybody want to come "camping" in Wolseley not next, but the following weekend? :P
(mostly kidding. )
I want to go camp out at Jeff's parents place, make things. make real things.
cast things, melt things, build things.
I have the drive to make ideas into real objects.
argh! damn needing to work! maybe I should just take my vacation soon.
hmmn.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I totally JUST figured out why something bothers me.
I was doing dishes just now, I turned and gazed out the window in time to see a couple walking hand in hand stop at the back lane across the street. there was a vehicle approaching the street, who was slowing down to let the two of them cross.
Then out of no where, the couple stopped about two feet short of the curb. The woman spun on her feet, and ended up in close with the man, he quickly wrapped his arms around her, and they stood kissing. the driver took the chance, and proceeded onto Westminster.
the broke apart just as the back wheel passed them, and continued walking through the space the car had just filled moments past.
for some reason, that made me think:
I have a HUGE fear of sickness, of people being sick, and a HUGE fear that people around me are going to get sick and die.
at the end of the whole thought process, I always end up thinking, "what If I were to get sick and die?"
THAT'S why it bugs me to see sick people. I'm just scared for my own mortality.
one day I'll get over the idea that I'm going to die one day. it'll be a long road to get there though, I REALLY hope it doesn't come prematurely. I have to make peace with myself before I go.
I hope I can one day. it's scary!
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Wednesday, May 13th, 2009
|
|
|
That was a fun evening!!
I got home around 5:00, and kinda dinked around, had a shower (which was LONG overdue!) and chatted with Willow. (you should totally make carrot muffins if you didn't tonight!! with more orange icing!! yum!!)
I had randomly planned to spend an evening watching movies with Brynn, though I always forget how late she get's off. I left for her work around 7:25, and got there in the nick of time at 7:55.
Brynn took her time finishing up, as usual. (I don't mean that in any sort of harsh way. she just has a pile of stuff to do at the end of her shift, after they lock the doors.)
we left the Humane Society on bike, I made a half assed attempt to cross the field on bike, while she scooted around on the path. (darn people that know the area!)
stopped at Mac's on the way back, got some chocolate milk and a few snacks, then got back to her place. No Angie around, so movie time!
we were hungry though, so Brynn "made" a pair of smokies with molten cheddar inside, on bread with BBQ sauce!! they were really nummy. mine shot goo at the plate!!
we sat around for a bit trying to decide on a movie, ended up watching Razor. I'd seen it before, but she wanted to make sure she'd seen it before starting any of season 4. it was kinda better the second time through.
after, we sat around and talked. it's nice to talk with Brynn.
after I left, and determined that I had forgotten one glove at home, (brr! cold hand!) I started biking down Lanark, towards the bridge. as I often do, I can't make myself take wellington late at night, so I got to academy and failed down to route 90, and took portage home.
on the way, I managed to out shuffle a drunk who seemed to want either me to take him home with me, or to take my bike for his nefarious purposes. wasn't much of a race, he was drunk on foot, I was on my bike.
I just got home, said my goodnights to people, and am about to go to bed,
but I forgot about the note on my door, that the porch work is starting tomorrow.
so I need to go clean it out.
except I'm already naked.
NAKED PORCH CLEANING TIME!! :D
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Who I Am, and What I Want, volume one.
this is a post that will change people's opinion of me, for sure.
the things that I regard as important seem alien to countless people.
I vowed to stop lying a while ago. beyond hurting anybodies feelings, beyond loosing friends, beyond any "better reasoning", I have to be honest with everybody, including myself.
I lied to myself for a long time. I was so good at it, I started to believe myself.
I'm so sick and tired of it all. I'm long done. and I'm so glad I am.
one of the major things that people need to know about me, is that I understand and appreciate that people's lives change. I recently saw "P.S. I Love You", of which they promote the idea:
'live your life until you meet the person that ends life as you know it, and then continue life anew with them.'
that explains the idea I hold at heart very well.
I'll continue this in a bit.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
The part that kills me about everything over the last few years, is the silence.
one of the biggest reasons I listen to as much Music as I do, is to drown out the silence. I can't stand to be alone with my thoughts anymore.
I've done terrible things in my life, I've put people through more than anybody should ever have to go through. When it's silent, I relive every one of those moments. It's crushing, destroying, soul ending.
so instead of put up with it, I drown it out with the sound of friends laughter, or music, or construction noise.. anything to keep my thoughts at bay.
All I long for these days is the sound of somebody softly breathing, to keep them away for good.
Maybe one day. I have such a strange set of needs, it's hard to think I'll ever find somebody who meets them. I have no idea if it's plausible to even consider changing what I want. CAN I even change what I want? or will it just be lying to myself to get something to be "good enough".
I have no idea. I've got to get a real draft of "Who I Am, and What I Want" finished. I meant to do it last week, but it got a lot harder to describe than I though.
*goes to work on it, blasting Tim Minchin*
One very important thing to me, is not to hide my thoughts anymore.
so as of this post, everything here will be public. (save for a few private entries.. nobody wants to read those anyways. :P)
annnnnnnnnnnnd: GO!
|
|
Comments: Read 4 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I want to develop a procedure for eternal life, where you'd recycle the cells of your body every 75-100 years, (including brain cells, so each time you start cycling your brain, you'd begin losing the synapses that made up the memories of the beginning of your life, month by month)
in some sort of sweet way, you'd be an ever changing person, maybe definable as countless people.
and you'd get to chose what to write down and remember forever,
even though it'd only be words on paper.
on second thought, that's the saddest thing I've ever thought.
If I could though, I'd want to spend a few hundred years traveling into space, and hope to return one day.
even though I'd miss all of the friends that I love so much here.
|
|
Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Wow,
watch the following interview:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6n5Oi4714o&feature=related
it's a little strange, I've never even seen an interview with Marylin Manson, but I felt it was a really great interview.
He does a wonderful job of getting his points across, And I have to agree with a lot of his ideas.
I think the line was: "I'm actually really shy, but I use my art to get out there"
he's a very honest guy, he's straight forward. he has his ideals, and he follows them.
yet he changes, as any of us do. not a huge fan of his music,
but I see why he does it.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
I'm sitting as you read this, (well, right THIS second I'm typing this entry..)
I'm trying to put together an identity. I'm trying to find out exactly who I am, what I want, and come up with some sort of idea of how the heck to get there.
I tossed the first draft, because it made no sense to me. I deleted it, and continued work on my story.
I hope I can get back to it, the two have a lot of close relations, so It should happen.
and at the same time, I'm laughing my ass of at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKftpGB03vU&feature=related
the way David handles the guy, is awesome. I have to admit that if I had been in his shoes, I would have made had about the same conversation.
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Saturday, April 25th, 2009
|
|
|
Again, today seems to be the day for beautiful songs.
(video's a little strange. but the song is the point.)
( Lyrics )
|
|
Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
|
|
|
it's strange how the meaning of songs completely changes, right after something major happens in life.
this is one of the most influential songs in my life. it always has been, and it will continue to be for years to come.
( The Lyrics )
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
Rats they run across the field
Crows rest in the tree
Barking madly at each other
Standing from the rooftop I screamed
Won't you bark for me?
As you turn your back and fly away
Caught on the fence you left behind
Darted to an empty room I've tried
Oh I've tried, oh I've tried writing
With nothing in return
When the wind that freed me
From the roots that tied me down
Now I need them back for comforting
Carvings that we left in branches
Scarred up on this tree
Lingering our thoughts you left with me
Calling the phone that you ignore
Slowly walking backwards from your door
Oh I've tried
Now we're done fighting
It's time that you return
Candle its small light inside your
Window that I see
Hoping that the light still shines for me
Standing on the curbside I screamed
Please come back
As you turn your back and fly away
Groundhogs digging with their claws
Burying their loves with dirty paws
Oh I've tried
There's no igniting
My head is in the dirt
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
|
1100001011010111000001100110100000000101001101101001101000001001000100100101011011001110100011011010
1011000101110001101111111011011101110111111100000101111101111100111001111100000110001111111001010100
0111000101011100101101110100001000000000100001111101001001010110101111101111010011101110101011010001
1000011110111000101100010110101011000110100111100100111011100101000000010110100111011100111100111011
0011011100100100010000011001101111101010001101100001001100100110010011110000010100001101000111010110
1001010111111010110101101110100000100100110000100000111110100110101011110110110101100101110010111011
0101111101011101111001010000011011010000011000111110011000111100101111011011011010110011000010011001
1011100001001100110100011011100010001101000000110001101111000101011111111011011110101001111101110100
1111100100001101000010110110001111110110000111011010011101001110110110100011000010101110000111101100
1110000001011101000000000010111111110010110011111001110000001001001000101010100111001111011110111000
1000011011001110101110001100101101100100000001001111111011111001010000101000011100011000000110000101
0001110000011111001111011111101101010111000010100011010110001010001100011001110100110100101110100001
1010111100001100110110100100010000111110111001000001100110001101110101011100010001110111000101010101
0100101010100011001110011011101011110111001000100001100100011110011110111111011010101000000010101011
1110011110010010011111101111101000110000010000101111111010000101010001011110010011100001111111010011
0100010111111000001010011100010011011101000000101001110110001100001100111001101011011101010011010111
1011010011010001010100110100011010011111100011000111001000010100110011000011011100110110000101011000
0100101110010011011001001100100000101110010110111011100011011100101011001111110000001000010110000100
0011010010101001010010001000110110110111100001010111101000010010100111010100000111111011010101000110
1101001111000110101011110101110111010011010111100111101110110110010010000010100101100100100111000001
1010000100100001000110111100111101001011111011001010101010100111000011001001100011001011010111011010
1001111010000011011100000010101101111110110100101111011010110011100111000100100111100011000011101100
1011101000111000101100111011110011111001110001010101010101001110101001101010010100101111010111101100
0111110011101111101110110101111101001100101011111101001111010001101110110111001100101100001111100001
0111001100011010101001011000001001100111111000111101011101010001010110100101000110100111001011101111
0010111100001101111101001111000100111010101110011111100100001110101001011101001100011100111011000101
1010010101101101101001111111100001010101001001100000001011011101010000001000001011101100100010110000
0111110010010001110100110010010100000001001100001000000100011000001100101100110011100100111000100111
1011111110010010100001110001000111100010110100011001000001111000110011111011010000010111001010001000
0010100001110011010110111001011100101110011000110110000000000001011110101110101010000101111011110000
0000101101111001001111011011000101110110100110011011111100000010000101101110101000100100011100101010
0100000111001100011000111000000011100001010000100001110011101110101011011000011100100110101010111010
0110000001000111001101101110111010011001111010001000000101000110100010000110110110011111001000100101
0110000111011101111010110100110001000100101111100101000011111101011101010011110100001011100000011000
0101101101101011101110111010111101111110111001000101101110101010000110110010001100101111000001101000
0001101010110100100001100001011100001100101110011110111010100000000011011000110111101100111001110010
0011011010110110101100001001000111001110110101100010001110110011111000101100010111000110110010101100
1011101010101001110111010011000100100000111111100110101111000000010000001010011001011110100000100011
1100110011111100011011101000111101101010110001011111100011111110000101100100011000110010010010010101
1111011011000111100111111101110011001011011011001011011101010010101010100101001010011101101101000110
1011000011000011110010100101111100110011001000110001111010110000001001000001101001001100011010000001
0000100110101101000100110100101101111111101010000001110000110110011100110100100101010100100111010001
0000101101001110001010100000001111111011110100111011111101101010110101000000000100110011100110001111
1111110000001110111110010100001110100010000000100101010011110111000100001101010100101000010011010111
1001110110000011010011010000001100100001011010111011101011001110011110000000011110111010111100000100
0110001101001001010010101010000111000111110011001100010000000101001001000101011010101010010101111110
0000101000010011010000111010001111111111001111010010000111110010010001100000001101000111110000110110
0110101110011101011010101100101110100001001111010000110011110100110101011110111110001111100010010111
0010111001011100010100010011001001010001001100110101010110111110000001010111111110111101101101010101
0001100101010011101001011111110011101110001000111100011001011111111110001101011001001010001010011110
1000010000010011111110000100100110001000100011111111100100110000010111111011010101001000000010110101
1001110100000111000011110011011110110011111010000100111001110011000110011110110000101010100101110000
0011111101110100000101011111000000101001110011001001101100001010111000000111110100000101111100110110
0010101010100010010000110101000001110010110011010001100110101001111010000010110110111111011000110010
0101100010010000011010000001000000010100001100000101101010011001100000111101110011101111111010010001
0101100100010110100001000100001111111011101010010011101110001000010000001111010000110100110100111111
0011010110010111110110110010101100000000101011100010010000001001000100101000001111110010010111100110
0001101101101110000100011111010100100101110110100011110101101010000101110100011011111111101101100000
0110111100000011010100111010111010011000100000111111101110111001110101010010000010001011100111111111
0011110101100110101000101101000000111111101110010101100011011101001000110010000001111000011100010111
1000001010010010111110010000101010001101001001100110000100001101100100010100101111011001010100100100
1111010101000011001100001000110100100000010100001100101001111100010110101010000100010101101000101001
0100001011000110101001011111101011001011100011000000101000100010110111110101100011100011111010000000
1100101110111101000100010000110111010001000110111011100011011101100001111101011011011111000011000010
0110110110101010100000011001100000101011100010111100011111001011100010110110010100010000110101000111
0011001100111011100001111011100001101110001001001110100110111010010001110111001100100011010100010110
0001101000000111011100111111100101100110101111101111110100011101101011110001011011010110101010110010
0010100001100110110000111111000000101001011111011111100011000000000001100001110011010110111101001100
0000010101011100111111110001011001011000001000011101011001001100010110110001111000001011010101000100
1110110001110110011111111100000110000100001101001000000010100000010011101101000010111010000111001101
0010101010001011011110111011001000110001010110101101100110111011110000000100011010011110011000010111
0100110100111000101101100110111101101110110010110110111000001011011010001001010000000011101110001001
0011010111111001001100111001000100100100010111011101000011010011101100100011001001010001110000000110
1010011110000010000100111001101000001110100101111011100010111100010010101011100110010011000010010111
1010001001011011111001000001101000110110111011110000001001111010011010111101000001010100001110000000
0101010011000111100111111111101100100110001011101110110101010111010011001101001011101110011110111110
1010110110111100010100001110110011001011001001010100000100011001110001101111000011000001111001100001
1010001100000000001101010001110010011111100111010100111001001001010001100010011101011111110000010011
1001011001100101111011010101001110000101001011001110110101101111011111100000001000001101111100111100
1100110101001111110111110010100011111111101111110100010000001011110101111110000000101101101111101000
1001010011001010110110001101110011000001011111010111111100000110110001010000010100011110001101011011
0011010011000111000001000000110110000000000111100001101011000110010001100111001110111101000101010010
1111000011110111111111110010001101110000010011000100110010111100101111100010110000110000011000110110
1010010011010011110110100110001111011010011100110010110011011110001111110100010110000000100111110001
1111110010001110110111000100100011111000001110011111010110011010010010110000111101101000111101010100
1010100100110101000100000000000011010010011011100101000000101001010011100000100100000110111011110010
0000000000110001100111001111101100011100110101010010110101001001100101110001001110011010110100101101
1101001101000000111011010001110101111110001100010010101000101110011111011111011000001101001100011100
1110100110010111110110100101011101000001111001110010011010001101101111010000010000111011010101110001
1111000011101001111000101000111111001101011100101010011111111111100011111110100111011100010000100000
0111100100001110010101110101111101011110001001001101101110110110001100111000101001001010100111001000
0110010111000111000010010010101101100101000111001000111000100110110101100001110101001111000101010001
1110100100111000010011101110111000100010100110001101010111001101100001111000000100011101101100000010
1010101000000010000011011000000011001000110100011100101100000001010111111001011010011100011101101000
1000000100101011101010000101011010001010010100010010111001001010000010001011101000011001000001011010
0011011100011101111011001101011111111000000100011010100011010111110100111100110100100110100101100010
1110010101000100011010010001100101010001011011100100111001110001001100111011101001010010101101110001
|
|
Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
|
|
Sunday, February 15th, 2009
|
|
|
sometimes, something silly happens in World Of Warcraft, that makes me laugh uncontrollably.
I logged in today, to play for a bit, and saw that the guild that I'd been a member of for over a year, had disbanded. honestly, not a big deal. I never even talk to the five or six remaining members, I was kind of expecting it to fall apart earlier.
after I had logged in, I sent out a message in Guild recruitment that I was a 68 pally, looking for a guild.
about 20 min later, I got one response:
Whytepsycho, from the guild: "FLooDBaR MiSFitS" says: "we ned hlz for 25man naxx!" and then sent me an invite.
I declined, and whispered him back, "no, sorry man, I'm not really that desperate to join a guild."
he starts spamming me with comment after comment, about: "Fuk U man!" and "who rU 2 tlk to ME lik that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" so I ignored him, expecting that to be the end of "another run in with somebody that takes all of this WAY too seriously."
some time passes, I had finally finished up in town, and had headed out, only to have some level one human warrior start whispering me: "wtf iz rong with u!? u cant lip off 2 ME!!!!!!!!! im posting ur name on the 'do not let join' fukin guild list!!!!! god fukin luck smarta$$!!!!!!!!!"
me: "haHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahaaHAAHAHAHAHAhahahaha"
a while later, I see in general, that somebody from the same guild is looking for people for a 25 man naxx. I whisper him, and ask him what's wrong with some of his guys?
he responds right away, he's the Guild leader, and he had kicked and banned "Whytepsycho". apparently he'd had nothing but problems with the guy thinking WoW was his: "personal crusade to right the wrongs in today's society" and had been looking for a reason to kick him for a while.
all and all, I found the whole thing quite funny.
|
|
Comments: Add Your Own.
|
|
Friday, January 30th, 2009
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
phyrexian's journal